Happy Hump Day fellow Healthy Chicks! Today I am proud to entertain you with a guest post from one of my favorite readers/fellow blogger Jenny Jen. She is one Blonde Bronzed Twenty Something who knows the ins and outs of relationships, dating and men (something I am totally clueless about). Alas, let me give the floor (er, blog) over to her! Jen, you may take it from here…
Healthy as we might be with other aspects in our life, we’re not so much with men. We are told to go for the good guy, yet fall for the bad. We are meant to walk away from a relationship without looking back, not wanting the ass hole even more. We are supposed to take the oh-so-obvious hints that he’s just not that into us, but instead we focus on the signs that show us he is. We my friends are twentysomething women who – although healthy and in control in other areas of our life – lack the same nutrients and wholesome diet in our dating life.
Well consider me your relationship trainer. I’m going to give you the core tips to energize your love life. So are we ready girls? Time to swap those Nike runner’s for a pair of Manolo thigh-high boots and start walking:
1) Keep a ‘dating diary’: The same way you would record the calories and eating items you intake to notice patterns and how each food makes you feel after consumption, do the same with men. We often forget the bad and overwrite it with rosy stories that are far from accurate. Keep this journal to understand your patterns, in hopes to prevent making the same mistakes again.
2) Everything in moderation: We are always told that too much of something is never a good thing. If he uses excuses such as work, studying, moving, etc., realize that someone who wants to see you will fit you into his schedule, no matter what. I’ve dated people in high demand jobs such (think doctors and hockey players), yet they still managed to make time for me. Got it? Alternately, be aware of spending too much time with the man of your affection. If you’re together 24/7, you likely don’t have room for other aspects of your life and wellbeing since he has become it. Neither of the two choices are a healthy alternative. Instead, indulge in him but make sure to make time for yourself and your friends, because at the end of the day, if Casa Nova and you break it off, you and your friends are the only one who can pick up the pieces.
3) Work it: You’re not going to burn calories, release endorphins and start noticing changes on your waistline unless you start working out. Wish as we might, sitting at home playing on our Macbooks won’t get us into shape. Same with dating. Though we can try to peruse the net for potential suitors, it’s going out, meeting people and putting ourselves in a social environment that will get us to reach our goal. So put on a hot little number, head out and make it happen.
4) Avoid Toxins: You wouldn’t dare ruin your diet with something that was unhealthy or distructive to it, so why would you do that you with your men? You know that hung over feeling you experience the morning (and day, and evening) after drinking? Those are the effects of toxins in your body. Toxic relationships are destructive to your well being. Not only do they halt motivation and make you less productive, but they also deter others from you (no one wants to get toxins). And deny as you will that the boy is toxic, listen to those around you who refer to him (and who you become with him) as such. No one should be bringing your fabulous, foxy-self down. A partner is meant to bring out the best in you, not worst.
We wouldn’t settle for a bad gym, we wouldn’t feel good from a half-assed work out, and we certainly wouldn’t feel clear headed and airy if we ate a meal full of junk. If you put in the same thought and awareness as you do with your health, I can assure you you will find that grade A relationship you so desire.
Thanks for such a wonderful, fun post Jen! You may contact Jen on Twitter @BlondeBronzed, read her hilarious, informative relationship blog here and email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Warning: I apologize ahead of time if I go on some kind of rant
While I may be a healthy chick and am 99% of the time a happy chick, I am also…dun dun dun…a single chick. Now many of my in-a-relationship friends root me on, and tell me that “being single is fun.” “You are so young.” “The right guy will come along some day.” Well, 23 years have gone by and he still hasn’t. OK OK, I understand that yes, I am young and yes, I probably will meet “that guy” some day and everything will all work out. But it doesn’t make that in-between, waiting around, what’s going to happen phase any easier.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that as much as I’m trying to stay positive about being a single chick, sometimes it gets to me, and this week it’s gotten to me a lot more than usual. I try to be all strong. “I’m OK by myself.” “I don’t need a guy.” And that’s true. I know I don’t neeeeed one, but it doesn’t mean that every once in a while the thought can’t pop into my mind that’d be nice to have one.
Many of my relationship friends also like to tell me, “When you stop looking it’ll come.” Honestly, I’ve heard that since 7th grade. I’m not looking, am I? It’s not as though I go crawling around town checking out men like an aisle in Forever 21. Cute. Not Cute. Yep, he’ll be a keeper. No, I don’t do that. Sometime’s at coffee shops I’ll smile at the cute guy across the table, and at bars I look around to see what’s out there and go up to the occasional guy to chat, but that’s just because I’m a social gal and I love meeting new people. I wouldn’t call that looking or hunting them out by any means.
Anyway, this past year I tried to let my singledom not get to me as much. After all, I moved into a new city (the lovely city of Boston) and realized it was a time to focus solely on me. And that I did. I got myself a job (or three), started cooking anything and everything (creating many of my own unique recipes) finally learned to manage my budget, made some amazing friends, learned the importance of strength training for women and began lifting weights, explored the city’s adorable coffee shops, bookstores and hidden gems, went to New Zealand with my family, went brunette, quit my job (or two), learned to embrace my body, began running (and love it) and am finally focused on my writing career. Those were all things for me I’d say. Not for you, not for my family and definitely not for men.
So I guess the whole “why am I still single” thing is especially getting to me now, because I AM happy, I HAVE focused on “me” and I DON’T think about it all the time. I guess what I’m trying to say is I feel it’s finally time I get a little taste of what a relationship is like. College I understand; No, college I was not ready for one. I barely had my act together, I was not happy with my weight or my body or my appearance and I wasn’t focusing on “me.” However, now it’s all different.
I guess in a way I am proud of myself. I finally got to that place I’ve been trying to get for years, a place where I am happy with what I am doing, content with my body, at a weight I feel comfortable with and at an overall “happy place.” So for now, I suppose I will concentrate on all that I’ve overcome in the past couple of years, however once in a while it’s hard not to let the single-bug get to me. Then again, if that’s the biggest of my worries, I’ve come a long way and am pretty damn lucky.
Single gals: Do you ever let being single get to you? What do you do to push out that negative noise and just “be”? …