Embracing 29 (and Letting Go of Expectations)
29.
Yesterday was my 29th birthday. The final year of my 20s. Almost 30. True adulthood.
Like all of my past birthdays, a bajillion feelings come sneaking their way to the surface, and I get a little self-judgy. It’s a time where I reflect back on where I am now, and where I think I “should” be.
When I was 22, I thought I had it allll figured out. I was ripe out of college, and had just moved to Boston with my best friend to start our lives in the city. I had super high expectations for myself of where I’d be at certain milestones in life — career, personal successes, love life and more. I would nail my dream job, find a husband, and make it big.
By 29, I’d be established in my career, own a big house with a backyard and grill, have a puppy and maybe a kid on the way. Put simply, I’d have my “shit together,” you know as adults should.
While things certainly didn’t map out as “planned,” I wouldn’t want it any other way.
We struggle, we change, we make decisions we don’t know are “right” but they feel right so they’re right for right now. That’s the beauty of it all.
Last week was my last week at my “real job,” and in two weeks from today my amazing husband & I will be moving outside the city to the suburbs. It’s a time of true transition, change, and exploration.
Maybe we don’t have the big house with a yard, but we’ll be comfortable. While there’s no puppy or kids in the picture just yet, it’s sure fun to talk about them and we’re soaking in all the date nights in the meantime. While I do not have an established, stable career, I have a dream and a passion like no other. I will let that carry me through.
Life certainly doesn’t look as I thought it would, but I’m learning to be OK with that. Going into the big 2-9, I’m letting go of expectations and simply allowing myself to be FREE — free to do me, to create, to live the way I want to live.
29, bring it on. Let’s see what you’ve got!
What do birthdays mean to you? Do you put pressure on yourself to be at certain places in your life?
xoxo,
Rachel
