Healthy Chicks

It’sssssss……HUMP DAY! WAHOO, congrats on getting half way there…just a few more hours at work until you’re officially over the hump. But until then, here’s my weekly Hump Day Lesson of the Day to get you through and hopefully make you giggle a bit…

Don’t Dress Too Sexy for Work: A few months ago (back when I worked a full time office job) I wanted to look good for an event so I put on my hot (yet profesh) pencil line dress. When I zipped it up, it was a little tighter than usual in the butt region but hey, maybe all those squats and lunges were to blame…and that’s a good thing. I asked my friend who is always honest if the dress was *too tight* and she said, “No way. It shows off your curves and is very flattering.” So I listened to her and head off to the office. 

I was walking down the streets with extra swagger. I look gooooood I thought to myself. Then I felt something. Something was not right. I went to adjust my dress when I realized it was hiked up all the way to my lower back, completely exposing my ass to god knows who. I nonchalantly adjusted (or so I thought) then nonchalantly turned around to find a 50-something businessman directly behind me. Now I was sweating, and completely embarrassed but I decided to brush it off and continue on my merry way. 

I phoned my roommate then hiked it to the T for my morning commute, laughing about the incident the entire ride there. By the time I got to my destination, I had completely forgotten about what happened. And when my coworker picked me up for work, I told her all about what happened on our car ride to the office. That’s when I feel something funny again. I go to adjust my dress (once again) and feel my bare ass. SHIT SHIT SHIT. “Shit I think my dress really ripped,” I tell my friend in a panic. “Nah, I’m sure you’re over-reacting. We can check it when we get to the office.” 

When I got out of the car, I was completely mortified. The trendy slit of my pencil-style dress turned into a full-length tear, going all the way up to my lower back. My entire ass was on display to the public…all morning long and I had NO IDEA! So I make the best of the situation and tie a shawl around myself to at least get through the morning. 

Oh but wait, I still had a very important event to attend. T0 make matters worse: When I rushed back to my apartment to change, I FORGOT my keys in the office, and had to beg the landlord to let me in. Needless to say, I was in a ball of sweat but now laugh about it to this day. 

Best part: My mom asked me if I was wearing “cute underwear” and I had to tell her, “No mom…I was wearing a thong.”  She cried laughing, telling me at least I made someone’s day. Oh and my dad asked how I couldn’t feel the “draft.” My answer to that. “Well it was a 100-degree day in Boston, what do you expect?”

Moral of the story: never dress too curve-alicious and always wear cute underwear. You never know what will happen and I mean it. 

Take a look at the aftermath…

(I wasn’t kidding when I said it was quite the slit)