How to Keep a Positive Mindset During The “Bad Days” (While Also Keeping it Real)
One of my favorite tanks I have has the words “No Bad Days” printed in big, black bold lettering. While it may sound a little extreme and preachy to tout that, it’s the meaning behind it that I love most. In reality, there’s going to be tough times and crazy sh*t that life throws at you, but it’s the way you handle those hardships that speaks volumes.
Life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, and I don’t think we should pretend that it is. (BTW, anyone who claims that’s how is it, I think is living in a different Universe.) However, I’m a firm believer that life is what we make of it, and while we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can control our mindset. My “No Bad Days” tee reminds me that even when things aren’t going my way, it doesn’t have to completely ruin my day, week or heck even month. It just means I may need to take a new turn and look at things a little differently.
Learning From The Tough Times
One of the most challenging times for me was about a year ago when I decided to leave my full-time job for good. I was super scared of the what-ifs, and didn’t know how I was going to make it all work. While I’m not recommending this for everyone, I left my job without a bunch of work lined up, and decided to take the summer off to re-focus and do me.
While I suddenly had all the free time I could ever dream of, I felt extremely lonely, isolated and unsure of myself. I was constantly comparing myself to other bloggers and health coaches who were making it big time, and couldn’t shake questioning, “Is there room for me in this space?” Not to mention the fact that I no longer had health insurance, a salary or other benefits. Sh*t got real, and I was forced to really dig in and deal with some tough personal stuff. My husband and I moved to the suburbs, and suddenly life looked very different. I was scared, excited and everything in between.
That’s when I decided I had two choices: I could waste the day away feeling sorry for myself and wishing I could be farther along in my career, or I could get up and do something about it. So I shut down the computer, took a break from social media and got real about what it is I truly wanted to offer the world. Once I shut off all the outside noise, I was suddenly able to see things so crystal clear.
Community and collaboration were the first things that came to mind since I was craving connection, so I joined a local women’s collaborative group She Breathes to get support from other like-minded women, women who lift you up and make you feel inspired. I also kept hearing a tiny voice in my head to revisit my affirmation card deck dream. It had been a vision of mine for about a year to create my own affirmation deck, but I always thought, “Now’s not the time” along with a million other excuses. But that tiny voice was now shouting to me, “NOW IS THE TIME!” to the extent that I could no longer ignore it.
So, I got cracking! Within one month, I wrote the content for 36 affirmation cards, along with journaling prompts and supportive action steps. I hired a graphic designer and illustrator, and launched a Kickstarter campaign to raise the funds. Soon after, “Spark Your Bliss Deck” was born and it’s been a wildly exciting journey so far. But none of this would have happened if I got stuck in the “Bad Day” tendency.
You see?
A few months after all this change, I started to gain a ton of weight, was feeling tired all the time and did not feel like myself at all. That’s when I was diagnosed with Hashimotos Thyroiditis, which is an autoimmune disease where your immune system mistakenly attacks your thyroid. I’d be lying to you if I didn’t say the “WHY ME?” “WTF IS HAPPENING TO ME?!” pity party didn’t kick in, but I quickly realized that wasn’t going to get me anywhere. In fact, it’d only set me back.
Instead of complaining and dwelling on all of the things that were wrong with my body, I filled up on delicious, whole foods, surrounded myself with positive people, developed a new self-care regime and constantly reminded myself “I am healing my thyroid. My body is healing.” Still to this day, these practices get me through the tough times, as I continue to heal and grow. But here’s the thing: Even during these tough times, I was open and honest about my struggles to my readers and community. I wanted to share my story of overcoming something that could easily be seen as a setback, by showing how I turned it into something positive. I wasn’t going to let it take the joy away from my day!
Never Complain, Never Explain
Where am I going with all of this, anyway?
I taught a workshop last week at a local Senior Center, and one of the woman (who was probably in her 80s) summed it up best:
“Never complain, never explain.”
That’s her favorite quote that her mother used to remind her of as a little girl. How freakin’ spot-on is that? When things get rough, instead of complaining to others or making endless excuses, do something about it! And that something could be as simple as taking five minutes to meditate in the morning. But do something.
When you look at it this way, every obstacle, setback and rejection becomes an exciting opportunity to make a move and try something new. While it can be super cliche, I truly believe that there is a lesson to be learned from every hardship even if you may not realize it at the time.
Next time you’re having a “Bad Day” and feel yourself wanting to complain to friends, try these techniques first:
- Journal: Ideally in the morning, free-write for a good 10 to 15 minutes. Let out all your questions, anger and emotions in your journal, and open up to it like a dear friend. You’d be surprised what you can learn about yourself!
- Change Your Scenery: If you work from home, try working from a coffee shop or taking a day trip to the beach. Or maybe it’s just taking your lunch break outside instead of at your office desk.
- Shake It Out: Exercise works wonders for our mood! Sign up for a Zumba, spin or barre class, but most importantly do something that makes you feel amazing.
- Meditate: Even if you have just five minutes, take some time to quiet your mind and get clear about your vision. There are tons of great guided meditations out there to get you started!
- Get Crafty: Create something! Be it coloring in an Adult Coloring Book, painting, or writing an article, do something that makes you feel creative. It’ll unlock all sorts of creative, feel-good juices.
- Practice Positive Affirmations: Create your own positive affirmation or mantra for yourself, like “I am enough” or my mantra for my thyroid, “I am healing my body.” Every time you feel yourself going there, acknowledge that feeling and then go back to the mantra. My “Spark Your Bliss” Deck is a great place to start!
- Let It Out: Look, I’m not saying that you need to be Happy-Go-Lucky all of the time. It’s important to honor your feelings, and let it out. Cry. Run. Laugh. Take a kickboxing class. Write. Let it out, it’s the healthy thing to do.
- Take a Break From Social Media: Falling into the comparison trap? Feeling overwhelmed by all the “noise?” It’s time to take a break from social media, and look within. Put your phone on Airplane Mode (“Airplane Mode Your Life!” as my hubby likes to say) and shut down.
I’d love to hear from you! How do you handle a Bad Day?
