The Breaking Point: What to Do When You Think You Hit Rock Bottom

37 Comments / Lifestyle / By

usually I’m a pretty happy girl, but yesterday I hit my breaking point…

When I graduated college two years ago, I always dreamed I’d move to NYC, score an incredible magazine job and live the city life. Once I realized that a.) the economy is looking rather rough and b.) NYC is freakin’ expensive, my ideal future slowly changed. So I moved to Boston, worked a front desk job at a gym to make money, and then dabbled in the corporate world for a bit. I soon realized that a.) A 9 to 5 desk job just isn’t cut out for me. I like people and talking far too much and b.) Money can’t buy me happiness.

So, I quit my job as a Content Manager and filled my time with doing “Rachel” things. I starting writing in my blog every single day, bought my own domain, self-published a recipe book, made some new friends, scored a pretty sweet boyfriend, picked up a few freelance writing gigs, and explored the city of Boston in my spare time. I guess you could say I’m one of the most active “unemployed” people you’ll ever come across. I never just sit at home, and I’m always doing some type of work – even if I’m not always getting paid. I like to be productive.

Well, this whole “glamorous” unemployed life that many may be jealous of isn’t really all that glamorous at times. First of all, there’s that thing called money. Secondly, I want a job I love more than anyone, and every day spend at least two hours perusing the internet for such jobs. I apply and I apply and I apply. At first it’s inspiring and exciting, but then it just gets old. And I guess you could say yesterday I hit my breaking point. I had enough of trying so darn hard and putting in 100% effort, when I feel like I get little to nothing back.

So what did I do? I teared up, booked it to Trader Joe’s (my favorite place in the world) and tried to snap out of it. Let’s just say it didn’t help. I felt like a Zombie walking through life aimlessly. I bumped into at least five people, and bought some weird shit I didn’t even need. I was sad. I was angry. I was confused. I was DONE. I’m freakin’ 23 years old. All of my other friends are off at work, and I’m sitting here crying in Trader Joe’s? That’s not OK.

I soon realized I should probably stop feeling sorry for myself. After all, it is my life and it was my own decision to quit a job that wasn’t right for me. I also realized that many people are in the same boat (the Rock Bottom boat), whether it has to do with being unemployed, hating your job, relationship issues, money problems, feeling lonely, marriage, etc. The list goes on and on. But I guess what I’m saying is everyone has their own problems and their own definition of hitting that breaking point.

So how do we move on from there? While I’m really bad at giving advice to myself, I like to think I’m pretty good at advising and cheering up others. So next time you think you hit rock bottom, try to tell yourself this:

1. I have a wonderful life filled with joy. I will concentrate on the joyful parts.

2. It’s really not as bad as I think it is. Nothing can be THAT bad. I will get through this.

3. Tomorrow is another day. And so is the day after that and the day after that and the day after that…

4. In 5 years from now, this won’t even matter. And by then, I’ll have something else to worry about.

5. Money doesn’t buy happiness. Nor do boyfriends or perfect jobs.

6. I have a wonderful support system to go to: friends, family, advisors…

7. Here comes the sun…

8. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. So many people have it so much worse.

9. I have my whole life to work/ find a house / make loads of money / get a boyfriend / find my dream job. Why not enjoy the now?

10. Take every day as it comes.. I WILL find happiness. I WILL get what I want.

What do you tell yourself when you reach a “breaking point”? What do you let get under your skin? Any advice to share with others? I’d love to hear!

37 thoughts on “The Breaking Point: What to Do When You Think You Hit Rock Bottom”

  1. Heather (Where's the Beach)

    I really hear you on wanting to find that job that you just love that you look forward to. I like my job, I don’t love it. And there are spells spent wishing the week away rather than just enjoying all that I have. So definitely try to find the positives. That’s all you can do really – that or cry. I think smiling is better though 😉

    Reply
  2. Allison

    I think everyone had a case of the Mondays in a bad way yesterday– I felt the SAME way (and so did my two roommates, based on their recaps of their days). I’ve been looking for a job I really love non-stop too and trying to find a new apartment, boyfriend, whatever…this time of year always seems to find me desperate for a major life change.
    I get through the yucky spring trying to do at least one ‘me’ thing each day– so I can spend at least 5 minutes not stressing about the stuff bumming me out.

    Reply
    1. healthychicks

      Love your attitude Allison! “Me” things totally get you through the week, and I think we all need to remember to allow ourselves that me time.

      Reply
  3. Cristina P.

    Love your advice Rach! I call my time here at age 25, my Quarter Life Crisis!! Sounds like you may just be going through it a bit earlier than me. I have tons of friends right around our ages going through the same thing too. We all have a path and will find it soon enough, just have to keep the faith. I’ll share a quick work story with you: The other day I was feeling down and I received a phone call at work. It was a lovely lady looking for help with her property insurance. She shared with me that she was going in for brain surgery in a few weeks and wanted to make sure all her papers were in order. She was going into the surgery due to Parkinson’s Disease. She went on and on about how she was probably sharing too much information with me – something her husband let’s her hear about (after all, I was a total stranger). Throughout the whole conversation, she was so upbeat and positive, definitely not letting onto any concern for her life changing surgery. What a reality check I had when I hung up that phone! I need to be thankful that I am healthy and have wonderful people who surround me everyday and who care about me. Suddenly career problems seemed so small. If someone about to go in for brain surgery can have such a positive outlook, then so can I! As I think you mentioned in a previous posting, we all need to “Just Keep Swimming!” Hopefully you’ll continue your wonderful blog when we hit our 40’s/50’s and can discuss our Mid-Life Crisis!! Good will come to us Rach – I know it!! 🙂

    Reply
    1. healthychicks

      Wow, Cristina. What an inspiring story! Thank you so much for sharing. That definitely puts things in perspective…and I think we can ALL learn something from that experience.

      And you are right. We have so many wonderful things in our lives to be thankful for…and everything WILL work out eventually. Thanks so much for the lovely comment!

      Reply
  4. Jaime

    Hi Rachel,
    I moved to a new small town about 2 years ago with my husband. I was a high school teacher before we moved and i spent the first 6 months unemployed. I worried away most of my unemployment and then i got a full-time job with good pay and benefits. While I don’t love it, it is a true growing experience for me and i am challenged in ways that make me stronger and more experienced. My point is, I wish I had those 6 months back. I wish I could have had faith in myself and in the universe that there was a plan for me (there was!). You have so many wonderful things ahead of you so don’t worry, there is a plan for you and I have a feeling it is full of joy and sparkles!

    Reply
    1. healthychicks

      Jaime, your comment just made my day! It definitely helps seeing other people who have gone through similar feelings/experiences as you have, so thank you for sharing. I do have faith and usually soak up & enjoy these days of unemployment… I guess yesterday was just one of those days I let it get to me a little too much.

      Thanks again for your comment!

      Reply
  5. Emily

    I’ve been there lately girl and let me tell you it isnt fun! I’ve been trying to really focus on me (as I just talked about in my last two posts) and look for activities and hobbies that make me happy and keep my mind busy. That means more exercise, of all different varieties, and getting out and just DOING things even if you’d rather veg out at home. I’ve also been turning to positive distractions like cooking which keeps my mind off of stressful things. Hope this helps, goood luck, it will get better!!

    Reply
    1. healthychicks

      Thanks Emily. Distractions work wonders! I find that even just getting out of the house or doing something totally outside your comfort zone helps A TON. For instance, tonight I’m going to a makeup & skincare open house. I won’t know anyone, but the point is it’s getting me out of the house, and introducing me to new people. You never know who you’ll meet!

      Reply
  6. Brittney

    The thing that is cool about “hitting rock bottom” is that it makes you appreciate the good stuff so much more when it comes! I’ve been through some rough times, and all I can say is that now feels so much better. If I hadn’t gone through some crappy stuff, I don’t know that the good times would feel as great. Good luck to you and keep doing what you are doing. You have a great attitude about it all!

    Reply
    1. healthychicks

      Brittney, thanks for the positive words! I totally agree with what you’re saying. I think it’s true in all aspects of life: we can’t appreciate the good if we’ve never gone through the bad.

      Reply
  7. Kathy The Boston Sports Woman

    Your list amazes me. I believe in you. I believe you are already on your path, you just don’t know it yet. When I look back at that time in my life, age 23 – 25, I was in a horrible job, miserable with everything, and just not happy. Rachel, you are happy. This is a feeling that no material thing can give you. And you give me that feeling every time I’m with you, and it makes me happy!

    Life is funny sometimes, we struggle with the material things we don’t have so much, that when we find ourselves feeling hopeless, it reminds us of all we do have.

    Having your friendship is invaluable. Thank you for that.

    Kathy

    Reply
    1. healthychicks

      Awww Kathy, that means the world to me! And your friendship is one of a kind as well. Thanks so much for that! : )

      Reply
  9. Gerda Listi

    I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this post. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to start my own BlogEngine blog now.

    Reply
  11. replacement window costs

    I recently had my websites rebuilt and i am trying to come across new ways to make it better.Your design is quite nice and your posts are well-structured. I though that it would be nice to say that i will use some of your “know-how”.

    Reply
  17. window replacement cost estimate

    Aw, this was a very nice post. In thought I want to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and actual effort to make an excellent article however what can I say I procrastinate alot and by no means appear to get something done.

    Reply

  27. Pingback: selling plr articles

  28. Unlimex

    that sometimes wont help some(the steps) but its a good thing to think that ppl might have it worse and u have to stop whining. I’ve hit rock bottom at age 17, Im 21 now, but I got cancer at 16, and I was out for a yr. I came home in time to watch my class graduate, without me. alot of parents would tell me stuff like, “didnt think ud come” well at the time I was pretty happy that I at least got to see friends graduate. But after it did hurt thinking I was held bk. Missed christmas with family, halloween with friends(last yr to go crazy with friends) everything. every1 dreams of dream jobs, awsome careers…now my cancer came back twice…and I cant talk(not throat cancer, tongue…) hitting rock bottom is not things that u know u can do but havent done…to me, its having something lock u, and is impossible to unlock. Ive sat around drinkin, moping, dissing god even, but doing all that doesnt help, jus made me feel more deppressed. and getting a bf shouldnt be hard for u, me being unable to speak is a big minus in a relationship.

    Reply

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *