Discovering the beauty of the unknown
I’m a planner.
A thinker.
A future-tripper.
A dreamer.
I love to craft up grand plans for my future, and yes sometimes I let the what if’s and the worries get to me. Will we have enough money? Will we be able to buy a nice house to raise kids? Who am I going to be? What will my life look like in 5, 10 years?
This can be scary sh*t, huh?
Well, a couple weeks ago I made a decision to completely let go of my control/stability/certainty/comfort zone and start from scratch (more on this another time). I knew in my gut my current lifestyle was not serving me, so I l e t i t a l l g o. OK, I didn’t let it all go (hubby and I are still happily married!) but you know what I mean.
Part of me was scared out of my mind, but the other half of me was excited beyond my wildest dreams. There was something about this notion of not knowing that fascinated me — knowing I can craft my life the way I want it, paint the canvas a different color, change gears.
Nonetheless, my inner worrywart still had a good amount of fear pent up inside.
This past weekend, I went to see my energy healer / reiki specialist for an integrative healing session (it’s the bomb if you haven’t done one before.) She said something when I first walked in that really stood out to me:
“Stop moving. You don’t need to do more, have more, or seek. It’s not about doing more. Take this time for yourself. When you do something, do it because you’re naturally inspired not desperate or seeking. We do that out of fear.”
BINGO. She hit the nail on the head. I had all these thoughts spinning in my head of what’s next for me, when I realized in that moment I truly just need to slow the eff down and catch my breath. There were no next steps, to-dos, searching or striving required of me at this time. And I must say, that felt pretty darn good. After all, I want to make decisions because I’m passionately excited by them, not based on my internal fears.
While it sounds scary and taboo, maybe it is OK to just be OK with not knowing. Maybe it’s OK to leave some of your fate up to the universe. After all, everything always works out in the end.
xoxo,
Rachel
